Category Archives: My Heart Speaks

A Birthday Filled With Overflowing Gratitude

I am aware I have been slacking across my blogs. My birthday took place almost four weeks ago and I am only writing about it now. That is indolence at its finest! Hahaha! 😂 I have learned to ditch the excuses. It doesn’t really matter now as I don’t have a crowd nor a readership to please anyway. But in case you’re interested to know, I might just talk more about it in my next post. 😜

My birthday came and went in a flash! I got stuck with 25 as you may very well know it. But who knows? This might be the last year as I get bored and tired of that number too you know.  😂😂😂

Well, it was very hectic. Our original plan was to go for a coastal walk; I had been wanting to do this for the longest time! When my husband asked me what I wanted to do on my birthday, I saw it as an opportunity to get this done. 😂

But he had his own way of surprising me even before then. A bouquet of long-stemmed roses was delivered three days before my big day while I was working from home. I was speechless! And I thought that was about it. I got the surprise of my life when at the stroke of midnight, he asked me to go down to the kitchen saying that he heard some “funny noises” and requested me to check on it. It was quite strange for the man of the house to be asking me that. I felt something was amiss right there and then! When I came down, I felt so touched and teary because he made all the effort of arranging the dining table with my birthday cake and card on it. How lucky can I get? I had never even noticed him doing all of it while I was busy upstairs getting some things done for another event that I was organizing in the Philippines.

Please note that I had all these documented in photo and video forms but I am just too lazy to refine the photographs with their corresponding watermarks.

On my birthday itself, I thought it was going to be foiled by a bad weather as initially forecasted. But it turned out to be a pretty day! We started the day rather late because we were mostly waiting for the rain that never came. Lol! 😂

We braved the hot, humid day. That’s not me. If I was in the Philippines, I’d hail a trike or use an umbrella to avoid the scorching heat of the sun. Ha! Ha! 😂 However, we made sure we were protected by rubbing off some sunscreen all over our exposed skin.

THE COASTAL WALK

We took “the most famous, most walked track in Sydney- no question and for good reasons.” It’s very easy to get to and passes between two of Australia’s best-known beaches, Bondi and Bronte. We made Bronte as our starting point for easy parking access.

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It was a 6- kilometer walk, two- way for a minimum duration of 2 hours. It took us longer than that as we had our toddler along with us. My husband had to carry the pram every now and then each time we had to go down or up the steps. It was a tiring day for him!

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But it was an entirely leisurely stroll that’s perfect for families. The path is mostly sealed with the exception of some rocky patches, and a steep set of stairs. The highlights of the walk were the coastal cliffs, views of iconic Sydney beaches, historic beach baths, and the Sculptures by the Sea. We were told this is also the best spot that gets visited by celebrities. We were too engrossed with our walk that we never spotted one.

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It was a total delight and pleasure to have witnessed the beauty of nature on my birthday itself.

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Everytime I celebrate my birthday, it is ruled by my heart- I feel it from the very core of my being- it is a whole year’s worth of overflowing gratitude, faith, hope, optimism, support, love, and friendship.

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I thank God for the tiniest bit of blessings that I truly do not deserve but He has graciously bestowed unto me and my entire family.

Indeed, every waking hour is a gift and I am grateful beyond words!

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How Motherhood Has Changed Me

Motherhood has primarily changed everything in my life and largely, in ways I did not expect. It altered my perspectives and thought processes. I used to be driven and motivated by my own needs and wants; but now I must admit that they mostly revolve around my child’s needs.

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With my son after the Sunday worship service

God knows how I have worked harder to be more patient, thoughtful, kind, caring, and gentle. I did not realise how selfish I was until motherhood showed me how selfless I can be.

I am not always successful at living by those virtues but I’d like to believe that I am better than I used to be. Make no mistake about it; I am far from perfect but I certainly am a work in progress everyday.

Motherhood has also helped me to relate better to anything about children. My instincts have sharpened and my spirit has strengthened. Similarly, being a mother has helped me to better understand and emphatize with my very own mother. However, I regret that I haven’t been a perfect daughter.😩 But that would be another story.

Truly, I cannot imagine what my life would be like had I not had a child. I have always wished and prayed to become a mother and God has been so good to grant one of my heart’s desires. It’s indeed one of the most beautiful blessings that God has graciously bestowed on me.

The intensity of the love that I feel for my child is simply indescribable. I could not fathom its depth and I could not find the perfect adjectives to describe how he has actually made me feel. I feel blessed and challenged as a mother!

Motherhood is the most rewarding, awful, beautiful, heartbreaking, awesome, horrible, joyous thing imaginable that has ever happened to me and I wouldn’t trade it for anything else in this world!

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A Birthday Tribute To You, Ate V a.k.a. Star Chuu!

Dearest Ate V,

Today is another blessed day for you. As you recount God’s numerous blessings, let me also recount the ways you have touched my life in one way or another.

Remember the first time I have had my first encounter with you at the COMELEC office? I was then working for a Non-Government Organisation and our short exchange of pleasantries was rather friendly. I had no inkling then that you’d soon be my “partner in crime”; be that in the execution of my daily duties as a public servant or otherwise. We may have frictions every now and then but they were minor; and I see to it that I look up to you not only as the alterego of the Boss but also as my “Big Ate”; you have my respect being my senior.

But let’s not talk about age. Let’s talk about how good you were to me.

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I saw how some were treating you like crap and you felt less respected. You cried a river for some petty and not so petty issues. I have been a witness on how dirty “politics” can play in such an environment. It’s sad. Our daily struggle was real as we fell prey to all sorts of gossipmongering and fault- finding environment and we felt that if at all, we were acknowledged for our effort and dedication, there was never any mention.

These were all a thing of the past but I vividly remembered these paved the way for us to get strongly bonded and connected. As you whinged about your ordeals, I showed you compassion and empathy; and you offered me similar support when I was on the same path as a neophyte in public service. I am not known to kiss anyone’s ass but I will always thank you for encouraging me, for keeping me strong, for always giving me that gentle nudge and push when the goings get tough. You spoke so highly of me and I always had your back. I felt your support all the way through; I felt encouraged, motivated; I felt bravery in times of cowardice. You have always lifted my spirits up.

We ultimately got even more connected when we shared the same interests. I was able to encourage you to blog and that’s when our friendship reached a notch higher! Seeing each other everyday at work was never enough; we had to continuously support each other virtually through our blogs. Isn’t that so amazing?

We led an active lifestyle by going to our badminton sessions almost every night; we scheduled out-of-the-country trips together. I was grateful when you acted like my Mum, “Ate”, and friend all rolled into one when you protected my petite and fragile stature by volunteering to lift my heavy and overloaded baggages; yes! How can I forget it?

You were ever so willing to take on those little tasks that I can’t find the time to perform; you were always ready to assist in every way; in the most unselfish and dedicated fashion.

How can I not laugh at your hilarious antics especially when you were trying to speak using the English vernacular? I don’t need to expound more as you know what I mean. Haha!

I miss the way you shared with me your nightmares and dreams from the night before and out of curiousity and for fun, we both look up its meanings by Googling and we ended up delving deeper into the issues in our lives.

You touched the very core of my being when you took the time to see me one last time at the Gensan Airport to offer your prayers; just a couple of minutes before my boarding time and READ: you almost missed me as I was already queueing up going inside the departure lounge.

You have my full admiration as you have been a wonderful single Mummy to your kids especially to your unica hija Vyne, a great daughter to your loving “Mamang”, a dear sister to your siblings, and a caring and beautiful friend to anyone you know.

You may be unaware of it but you have made such a big impact in my life. I thank the Lord for the blessing of meeting and knowing you; paving for friendship and sisterhood to blossom in more ways I can ever imagine.

May God continue to bless you in the same way that you have blessed my life.

Happiest birthday! I miss and love you!

Love,
Lainybelle

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Failed Mission

Saturday was a pretty hectic day for my son and I. We were out for a mission- shopping! We arrived at the shops as early as 8:30 am; most of the shops weren’t even open yet!

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Jamie at the shop

We didn’t get home until past 5 in the afternoon.

It helped that Jamie did not give me a hard time; he was a good boy the entire time. He ate a full Chinese food for lunch. Onlookers were staring at him with eyes opened wide while he was devouring his meal. Lol!

However, our mission wasn’t accomplished. I didn’t find something nice for him so I didn’t force the issue.

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Ad to lure consumers to shop till you drop!

 

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Clever marketing strategy

 

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Children’s wear

 

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Right!

So it basically turned out to be a window shopping day for Jamie and his Mummy. It was a very long day for us but I had fun spending the time with my son.

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Just a Little Leap of Faith

In life, we sometimes take risks- we don’t even know where it will take us. But don’t we all aim for one thing?

Success.

To achieve success, it seemed normal to make some sacrifices- big or small. In the face of failures, we continue to push forward and have been motivated by the looming success that we can see right at the very end.

It is something pivotal, life-changing to say the very least. Two essential human emotions that normally keep us going forward or backward are Love and Fear respectively.

These two forces are normally intertwined and must co-exist for one to be superior over the other.

Three and a half years ago, I made the most crucial decision in my life. But prior to that, I had a secured job in the Philippine government and a blogging gig on the side with a not-so-meager income combined to boot. Just enough perhaps to buy myself a knickers and a lippy, Lol! 😂

I had a great circle of friends both online and offline who made my life so colorful and meaningful; they filled my life with so much love, joy, and adventure.

Everything was within my comfort zone: my family and I can dine to any restaurant of our choice at anytime, I can do my morning walks to the City’s Oval Plaza at the break of dawn, worked out like a slave at the gym on my lunchbreaks which was only a stone’s throw away from my work place, play badminton at night time with family, workmates, or pals, go to Church, meet up and malling with friends, window shopping, beach getaways, short trips overseas, etc.

My loving and adoring family was also within reach. We had created so many memories over the years. I was in my most comfortable, happiest state, and most of all, I was where everyone wants me to be- safe.

I was in that status quo when my then fiance and I decided to make the monumental move of processing my visa to Australia. When I look back at it now, everything seemed so tedious, taxing, and full of anxiety and apprehensions. I would often declare my doubts of whether or not I would “fit”; and his answer was always on the affirmative- without a shadow of a doubt!

And true enough I did! But it didn’t take much longer when the feeling of homesickness struck me like a disease! I felt so alone in this foreign place- I felt the pangs of pain in my heart and was terribly missing my comfort zone back home!

I began to doubt myself and the choice I had made.

While I was in the midst of my own doubts and fears, strangely enough, I continued to enrich my human abilities by performing the role of a mother and a wife; I also tried to immerse into the new cultural discoveries in Australia; honing my skills at work by expressing my intent to learn more and furthering my knowledge; my cooking experiments were quite a normal sight in the kitchen (LOL!); and furnishing the tiny home we moved into in the beginning of the year kept me preoccupied as well.   I intend to soothe my racing mind; keep it somehow calm and collected by reviving my blogs therefore blogging to my heart’s content once more. I am aware I have done so less for my blogs, I am not here to justify nor attempt to give any lame excuses. For this bit, pardon my indolence.

Despite the negativities and the initial difficulties, I have reached this far and I am not backing down. It was worth every chaotic moment.

In saying that, I am taking the leap of faith on myself right here and now! I am going to conquer my fears, nurture the things that I love doing, and make it flourish. I am reopening my heart to new possibilities, pushing away the unfounded doubts and apprehensions. I am hopeful that I can find more love and laughter in whatever endeavour I wish to undertake.

In our pursuit for success and happiness, the big stumbling block in most cases is ourselves. Indeed, life is too short and far too precious to be too wrapped up in our own fears, thereby robbing us of the joys that we truly deserve!

Love wins! 😘

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