Have you ever had to go through the pain caused about by death in the family? Do you ever feel some kind of fear that something of the same thing shall take place again? What if one fears of losing someone but is not caused by death? How do you cope with the thought and with the loneliness that goes through your very being?
For most people, the fear of losing someone dear to one’s heart is normal. It is devastating and hurtful. It feels like a dagger through the heart that’s dreadfully sharp and it causes that horrible pain. And all these is only “thinking” of the possibility of losing someone you truly love. But what if it actually happens?
There can never be a traumatic experience than actually feeling the loss. The pain is so real and is just too unbearable.
I was able to read a poem that expresses the entire feeling:
When you wake in the dark
And forget where you are
For a split second
you panic
You’re frightened, you’re scared
Then it comes flooding back
A friendly voice
Of relief
You recognise your surroundings
You go back to sleep
Losing someone you love
Is waking in the dark
And not knowing
And not feeling
Shaking in the dark
the voice is gone
Losing someone you love
Is dreams of agony
and reality of pain
Screaming voices, keys, locks
A broken heart
Kept in chains
Losing someone you love
Is dark corridors that end
In dead ends
Yet you come back
and try them again
Losing someone you love
Is smiles
And sunshine
And rain
That mean nothing to you
Because your world is grey
Losing someone you love
Is tears by a grave
Falling down
Staying down
Then walking again
Not forgetting
But learning
To live with the pain
General Santos Time
3 Comments
December 6th, 2010 at 3:52 pm
I’ll be devastated…:(
dhemz recently posted..B&W Wednesday
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Lainybelle Reply:
December 9th, 2010 at 2:38 pm
@ DHEMZ:
Same here
[Reply]
December 7th, 2010 at 1:20 am
Hi Lainy,
First I have to thank you for all of your wonderful comments and support. You are true treasure to everyone’s life you touch.
As for the poem it describes the process very well. I was 17 when I lost my dad. He was only 52 and died suddenly, in the middle of the night, from a massive heart attack. It was completely unexpected and I think I must have been in shock for at least 6 months.
We had established a routine whereby he would call me every Friday evening. For months and months after his death every single time the phone rang on Friday evening around 6pm-for a few seconds I would forget and rush to the phone to talk to daddy.
But, then it would dawn on me again that he wasn’t here with me anymore. He was dead and the grief would all come flooding back over me again.
As for living with the worrying of losing someone I do that everyday too. My daughter, Pam, the one you just came and saw was born with a genetic disorder, Turner’s Syndrome.
Turner Syndrome women suffer many physical ailments and have a life expectancy of somewhere between their early to mid-50′s. I think the longest woman that has lived that we are aware of made it to 53 or 54.
Pam is currently 40 and will be 41 this February. I, we, all pray for a miracle everyday. For, without a miracle and if I live my natural life out, I will have to face burying one of my own children. I can’t imagine doing that.
I only get by day to day by keeping pushed back as far as I can in my mind. When I allow myself to dwell on it I almost feel as if I will have a complete breakdown.
I have experienced many losses of many loved ones and it is a terrible thing to go through. But, death is part of the cycle of life. My children and my loved ones are all saved.
So I know someday we will meet again when we all gather at the river!!
love you dear one!
Jackie
The Painted Veil recently posted..Ruby Tuesday- Sergeant Wright & Dr Wright Attend Annual Christmas Gala
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